Can You Actually Wear Vogue's Autumn Style Tricks?

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“Surely nobody would actually wear that in real life?” my friend grimaced, looking over my shoulder as I flicked through Maison Margiela’s Fall Couture 2016 runway looks on my iPhone, “It looks like a fucking straight jacket”. I pass my phone around the group for everyone to have a look. “She looks like that thing from The Jungle Book. You know, ‘I wanna be like you-ooh-ooh’? The massive orangutan!”. I want to disagree but I can’t; they’re right – surely nobody would actually wear that.

Fashion designers are, by their very nature, innovative, experimental and out-of-the-box. However, this often means that, when their brainchild hits the catwalk, you and me are left confused, and seemingly thinking about King Louie. What is the point of clothes if you can’t actually wear them? Being fashionable is great, but how well does runway fashion really work for everyday life? I mean, Rick Owens sent models down the catwalk strapped upside down on other models’ backs. That just isn’t going to work on the tube – you can’t even carry a handbag without having it knocked off your shoulder every time someone rushes down the left side of the escalator trying to make up the minutes that they wasted queuing for their Skinny Soy Vanilla Latte at Starbucks.  

Autumn is just round the corner which means that colder temperatures are looming, dark nights are coming, and, soon enough, you will be retiring your Levi’s cut-off shorts for another year. I for one will be welcoming the new season with open arms. I love summer, don’t get me wrong, but SPF50 is probably the only thing that I’m happy putting on my body, and I am 100% sure that staying cool and looking fashionable are mutually exclusive achievements. Vogue recently published ‘7 Autumn Style Tricks To Try Now’ so I decided to review which, if any, of these tricks will be plausible come Autumn.

11. Rework your summer striped shirt

What they say – “Take an offbeat approach to evening dress-up – Dries Van Noten’s gold two-piece suit paired with a scholarly striped oxford shirt is fabulously unexpected.”

What I say – Don’t let the use of ‘offbeat’ or ‘fabulously unexpected’ tarnish your vision here! Yes, a gold two-piece suit may be a little out there but it definitely hasn’t reached the realms of the ridiculous. Try it on a night out, and if you feel daft then you just can just get drunk and laugh about it.

Verdict – Why not, ey?

22. Try a polo neck under a dress

What they say – “Extend the life of a romantic summer dress by layering a cashmere polo neck underneath for the long winter ahead.”

What I say – Simply hearing the words ‘layering’ and ‘polo neck’ puts a smile on my face. There is something about a polo neck that makes you look and feel 100x cooler as soon as you throw one on. Real Parisian vibes. I tend to stay away from dresses as its harder to make it look like a different outfit with each wear, however this is a great way of changing it up and reducing your cost-per-wear. Who doesn’t love that?

Verdict – Definitely.

33. How to wear your bag now

What they say – “Three’s a trend: when a shoulder bag is worn tightly across the body and tucked snug above the elbow on the Proenza Schouler, Valentino and Prada catwalks – well, this is your new season styling trick sorted.”

What I say – Handbags are irritating enough as it is without having to try and squeeze your way out of them in the queue at Pret a Manger. The only time I’m tucking mine away is if I’m in a dodgy area of East London.

Verdict – Definitely not.

  4. Do bare legs for Autumn

What they say – “Invest in a heritage tweed two-piece skirt suit – and kick out your bronzed summer holiday pins until the cold nights draw in.”

What I say – Vogue is working under the assumption here that I have ‘bronzed summer pins’, which I certainly do not, nor will I be investing in anything tweed because I am not a farmer or a geography teacher. I’m not ruling out bare legs though.

Verdict – 50% yes, 50% no.

5 5. Herald the return of chinos

What they say – “Lemaire was awash with Nineties preppy minimalism. They key piece? Stone-coloured chinos. Wear with block heels and a belt high on the waist – less dad, more distinguished.”

What I say – Chinos are still very Henley Regatta in my mind and it would take a bloody good pair to shake that stigma, however, if pin-badges can make a comeback then whose to say that chinos can’t too?

Verdict – Yah darling.

6 6. Give ski pants a go

What they say – “Switch out your track pants for the new sporting contender: Eighties ski trousers, as seen at Balenciaga, Marni and Versace. Keep the stirrups in place with patent, pointed-toe court shoes.”

What I say – Someone has got to put a stop to “Athleisurewear” right now. Ski trousers should be worn with skis and not with pointed-toe court shoes. What is wrong with jeans??????

Verdict – Are you joking?

7 7. Belt up

What they say – “Take your cue from Prada: cinch a lace-up corset-belt-plus-leather-belt combo over all your summer dresses for instant autumn style points.”

What I say – This genuinely looks great on the model however I seldom make it to midday without taking off my waist belt so investing in lace-up corset belt is probably not worthwhile.  

Verdict – Not ridiculous but not happening.  


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